Mr. Universe [sound recording] / Jim Gaffigan.

Enhanced descriptions from Syndetics:

A masterwork close to his beloved "Hot Pockets," the highlight of Mr. Universe is "McDonald's," since the "aw shucks" but terminally ticked comedian Jim Gaffigan finds his muse in the most high carb of places. It's a hilarious cut as the pale man strolls into the Golden Arches with the cocky attitude and drawl of Matthew McConaughey ("That's right folks, this is what a size 38 waist looks like. Read and weep, y'alllllllll"), but it's also the reason the world -- or at least Middle America -- needs Gaffigan as bad as it needs the annual return of the McRib sandwich. After professing his love for the fast-food chain, Gaffigan laughs "I love the silence that follows that statement, like I just admitted to support dog fighting or something...," and in spite of what Mom, the media, the entire medical field, and your very own stressed heart is telling you, that delicious tradition of having dinner handed through a window, and at rock-bottom prices, is lightheartedly blessed by the comedian. You can accuse the later "Domino's" of borrowing from Patton Oswalt's Taco Bell routine a bit, but "If my Dad loved me, why would he eat a pasta bread bowl?" is entirely Gaffigan's voice, and just because Patton first discovered that those fast-food pop-up specials are the favored forbidden fruit in a vanishing garden of Eden, that doesn't mean Gaffigan isn't closer to the situation. He sounds like it, and as bodybuilders devolve into Schwarzenegger-styled dolts while hotel rooms give up their riches of free shampoo, free robes, and free toothpaste, it's a pleasure to hear that none of this hack material comes off as such, thanks to Gaffigan's pacing, his full-on embrace of guilty pleasures, and his willingness to stumble through this cool world as an everyman anti-hipster. Business as usual, but if you've ever partied so hard that trans fats came out your pores, then this business is delicious. ~ David Jeffries