The state of affairs : rethinking infidelity / Esther Perel.
Material type:
TextPublisher: New York, NY : Harper, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers, [2017]Copyright date: ©2017Edition: First editionDescription: xvi, 319 pages ; 24 cmContent type: - text
- unmediated
- volume
- 9780062322586
- 0062322583
- Infidelity
| Item type | Home library | Collection | Call number | Materials specified | Status | Date due | Barcode | Item holds | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Adult Book
|
Dr. James Carlson Library | NonFiction | 306.736 P437 | Available | 33111008973287 |
Enhanced descriptions from Syndetics:
"A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity -- but not necessarily the wisest one." -- LA Review of Books
From iconic couples' therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it.
An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo--universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat--even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.
For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage--with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.
Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships--what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.
Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, "Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart."
Includes bibliographical references (pages 303-310) and index.
A new conversation about marriage and infidelity -- Defining infidelity: Is chatting cheating? -- Affairs are not what they used to be -- Why betrayal hurts so much: Death by a thousand cuts -- Little shop of horrors: Do some affairs hurt more than others? -- Jealousy: The spark of Eros -- Self-blame or vengeance: The dagger cuts both ways -- To tell or not to tell?: The politics of secrecy and revelation -- Even happy people cheat: Mining the meanings of affairs -- An antidote to deadness: The lure of the forbidden -- Is sex ever just sex?: The emotional economics of adultery -- The mother of all betrayals?: Affairs among other marital misdemeanors -- The lover's dilemma: Conversations with the other woman -- Monogamy and its discontents: Rethinking marriage -- After the storm: The legacy of an affair.
An affair. It can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. Why do people cheat, even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? For the past ten years, couples' therapist Esther Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of clients who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage -- with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships: what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.