Syndetics cover image
Image from Syndetics

Families we keep : LGBTQ people and their enduring bonds with parents / Rin Reczek and Emma Bosley-Smith.

By: Contributor(s): Material type: TextTextPublisher: New York : New York University Press, [2022]Copyright date: ©2022Description: viii, 211 pages ; 24 cmContent type:
  • text
Media type:
  • unmediated
Carrier type:
  • volume
ISBN:
  • 9781479813322
  • 147981332X
  • 9781479813339
  • 1479813338
Subject(s): Genre/Form:
Contents:
Glossary -- Introduction: The parent trap -- Part I: Why LGBTQ adults stay in the family : the power of compulsory kinship -- Compulsory kinship -- The rationale of love and closeness -- The rationale of growth -- The rationale of uniqueness -- Part II: How LGBTQ adults adhere to compulsory kinship -- The kin closet -- Gender and sexuality school -- Out of the closet, under the rug -- Becoming normal -- Out of the family.
Summary: "There is no "'till death do us part" vow between parents and children. And yet, parent-child relationships are far more enduring than the marital relationships that made this phrase famous. The life-long parent-child tie is so ubiquitous and taken-for-granted that it doesn't need an oath. This unspoken pledge is our birthright; in times of good and bad, sickness and health, parents and their children are bound for life. But, not every parent-child tie is healthy and helpful. And what's remarkable is this imperative persists even when these relationships are unsatisfactory or even deeply damaging. Why do we stay in these parent-adult child relationships? And how do we stay bonded amidst rejection and pain? This book answers these questions. Drawing on interviews with 76 LGBTQ adults and 44 of their parents, the authors explain that conflictual, rejecting, and even abusive ties with parents endure because of what they call compulsory kinship: the overarching socio-cultural forces that tell us we have to stay in this bond, no matter what. That is, what we think of as the "natural" and inevitable connection between parents and adult children is actually created and sustained by sociocultural forces of compulsory kinship. With their empirical data the authors show why LGBTQ people justify their adherence to the specific compulsory kinship, using the rationales of love and closeness, parental growth, and the uniqueness of the parent-child tie. Further, they reveal how LGBTQ people stay in difficult relationships with parents through a new type of family work called "conflict work.""-- Provided by publisher.
List(s) this item appears in: LGBTQ+ History Month
Holdings
Item type Home library Collection Call number Materials specified Status Date due Barcode Item holds
Adult Book Adult Book Dr. James Carlson Library NonFiction 306.8508 R311 Available 33111011027667
Adult Book Adult Book Main Library NonFiction 306.8508 R311 Available 33111010934160
Total holds: 0

Enhanced descriptions from Syndetics:

Why LGBTQ adults don't end troubled ties with parents and why (perhaps) they should

Families We Keep is a surprising look at the life-long bonds between LGBTQ adults and their parents. Alongside the importance of "chosen families" in the queer community, Rin Reczek and Emma Bosley-Smith found that very few LGBTQ people choose to become estranged from their parents, even if those parent refuse to support their gender identity, sexuality, or both.

Drawing on interviews with over seventy-five LGBTQ people and their parents, Reczek and Bosley-Smith explore the powerful ties that bind families together, for better or worse. They show us why many feel obliged to maintain even troubled--and sometimes outright toxic--relationships with their parents. They argue that this relationship persists because what we think of as the "natural" and inevitable connection between parents and adult children is actually created and sustained by the sociocultural power of compulsory kinship. After revealing what holds even the most troubled intergenerational ties together, Families We Keep gives us permission to break free of those family bonds that are not in our best interests.

Reczek and Bosley-Smith challenge our deep-rooted conviction that family--and specifically, our relationships with our parents--should be maintained at any cost. Families We Keep shines a light on the shifting importance of family in America, and how LGBTQ people navigate its complexities as adults.

Includes bibliographical references (pages 185-199) and index.

Glossary -- Introduction: The parent trap -- Part I: Why LGBTQ adults stay in the family : the power of compulsory kinship -- Compulsory kinship -- The rationale of love and closeness -- The rationale of growth -- The rationale of uniqueness -- Part II: How LGBTQ adults adhere to compulsory kinship -- The kin closet -- Gender and sexuality school -- Out of the closet, under the rug -- Becoming normal -- Out of the family.

"There is no "'till death do us part" vow between parents and children. And yet, parent-child relationships are far more enduring than the marital relationships that made this phrase famous. The life-long parent-child tie is so ubiquitous and taken-for-granted that it doesn't need an oath. This unspoken pledge is our birthright; in times of good and bad, sickness and health, parents and their children are bound for life. But, not every parent-child tie is healthy and helpful. And what's remarkable is this imperative persists even when these relationships are unsatisfactory or even deeply damaging. Why do we stay in these parent-adult child relationships? And how do we stay bonded amidst rejection and pain? This book answers these questions. Drawing on interviews with 76 LGBTQ adults and 44 of their parents, the authors explain that conflictual, rejecting, and even abusive ties with parents endure because of what they call compulsory kinship: the overarching socio-cultural forces that tell us we have to stay in this bond, no matter what. That is, what we think of as the "natural" and inevitable connection between parents and adult children is actually created and sustained by sociocultural forces of compulsory kinship. With their empirical data the authors show why LGBTQ people justify their adherence to the specific compulsory kinship, using the rationales of love and closeness, parental growth, and the uniqueness of the parent-child tie. Further, they reveal how LGBTQ people stay in difficult relationships with parents through a new type of family work called "conflict work.""-- Provided by publisher.

Powered by Koha