Cry like a baby like a man: and other essays / John Bayer.

In his latest book of essays, John tackles all the important topics of the day: The Environment - "If you took all of the plastic water bottles America goes through in a single month, and laid them end to end, it's probably an indication that you have too much free time." ~ Self-Help - "Why should I pay some therapist to pretend to care about my problems when I have friends who'll pretend to care about them for free?" ~ Masculinity - "There are only two times when full-on crying is acceptable for a man: enduring severe physical pain and cutting onions." ~ Relationships - "Love is like a box a chocolates: to find a good one you have to sift through a lot of nuts." ~ Exercise - "It takes 43 muscles to frown and only 17 muscles to smile. This, of course, means that smiling is a sign of laziness. I always make the extra effort to frown." ~ Empathy - "If you're going to walk a mile in my shoes, please spray them with that stuff they use in bowling alleys before you give them back to me."