Out of my mind / Andy Rooney.

Enhanced descriptions from Syndetics:

" In the winter Olympics, they keep adding things to slide downhill on and then call the competition an "event." It used to be just skis and bobsleds. Now they've added luge and snow-boarding. I'm waiting for them to have an event exclusively for Flexible Fliers. I'd get mine out." People trying to be nice say, "What's wrong with being old?" It's a dumb question to which I have a ready answer: "I'm going to die before you do; that's what's wrong with it."" President Bush has proposed what he calls a plan for preventing forest fires by letting the lumber companies cut down more trees. He says clearing some of the forests will mean fewer fires. This is comparable to killing every other baby at birth to reduce deaths from starvation." George W. Bush is not the smartest President we ever had by about 40, but he is a good person." According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are now 288,291,993 people in the United States. I hope we don't decide to have a celebration when we hit 300 million because it's nothing to celebrate. Empty lots have been disappearing under houses, apartment buildings and office structures all my life. The more people we have, the more buildings we put up. We don't need any more people. If God was rewriting the Bible, I think He'd delete His advice to "be fruitful and multiply." We've multiplied enough already." I am not a great writer, but I don't write badly very often. This passes for good writing.