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Zen and the art of dealing with difficult people / Mark Westmoquette ; foreword by Julian Daizan Skinner.

By: Contributor(s): Material type: TextTextPublisher: London : Watkins, 2021Description: xiv, 196 pages ; 22 cmContent type:
  • text
Media type:
  • unmediated
Carrier type:
  • volume
ISBN:
  • 9781786785480
  • 178678548X
Subject(s): Genre/Form:
Contents:
Troublesome people as our teachers. Mindfulness and attunement -- Dysregulation--why we lose it with difficult people -- Patterns and tendencies--coping strategies -- Softening with compassion -- Troublesome arenas. Fellow traveller Buddhas -- Workplace Buddhas -- Friend Buddhas -- Neighbour and housemate Buddhas -- Partner Buddhas -- Family Buddhas -- Teacher Buddhas -- Really troublesome Buddhas. Ogre Buddhas -- Self Buddhas -- Seeing troublesome people as Buddhas. Realizing Buddha-nature -- Finding your sanctuary.
Summary: "This book is for anyone who wants to learn how to respond to difficult people with more clarity and wisdom. It will help you explore your reactions, break free from knee-jerk response patterns and find out how these people can become useful teachers in life--troublesome Buddhas. In this book Mark Westmoquette draws on personal experiences of profound tragedy. He stresses that the only way to grow is by facing our pain, acknowledging how we feel and committing to end the repeating pattern of suffering, By bringing awareness and kindness to these relationships, our initial stance of "I can't stand this person, they need to change: will naturally shift into something more inclusive. Zen is about finding your true nature and, once you've woken up to it, learning to live from that realization. There will always be people who get up your nose--and perhaps even your blood boil and steam come out of your ears. Mark teaches us how to listen to those feelings and begin relating to them in a different way."-- Back cover.
Holdings
Item type Home library Collection Call number Materials specified Status Date due Barcode Item holds
Adult Book Adult Book Main Library NonFiction 158.2 W533 Available 33111010775431
Total holds: 0

Enhanced descriptions from Syndetics:

This is a unique guide to coping withchallenging people using practical Zen and mindfulness tools. It helps readers explore their reactions, break free from knee-jerk response patterns andsee if these peoplemay in fact prove to be useful teachers in life - troublesomeBuddhas.

This is a guide to applying the teachings of mindfulness and Zen to the troublesome or challenging people in our lives. Perhaps you can see there's often a pattern to your behaviour in relation to them and that it often causes pain - perhaps a great deal of pain. The only way we can grow is by facing this pain, acknowledging how we feel and how we've reacted, and making an intention or commitment to end this repeating pattern of suffering.

In this book, Mark Westmoquette speaks from a place of profound personal experience. A Zen monk, he has endured two life-changing traumas caused by other people- his sexual abuse by his own father; and his stepfather's death and mother's very serious injury in a car crash due to the careless driving of an off-duty policeman. He stresses that by bringing awareness and kindness to these relationships, our initial stance of "I can't stand this person, they need to change" will naturally shift into something much broader and more inclusive. The book makes playful use of Zen koans - apparently nonsensical phrases or stories - to help jar us out of habitual ways of perceiving the world and nudge us toward a new perspective of wisdom and compassion.

Troublesome people as our teachers. Mindfulness and attunement -- Dysregulation--why we lose it with difficult people -- Patterns and tendencies--coping strategies -- Softening with compassion -- Troublesome arenas. Fellow traveller Buddhas -- Workplace Buddhas -- Friend Buddhas -- Neighbour and housemate Buddhas -- Partner Buddhas -- Family Buddhas -- Teacher Buddhas -- Really troublesome Buddhas. Ogre Buddhas -- Self Buddhas -- Seeing troublesome people as Buddhas. Realizing Buddha-nature -- Finding your sanctuary.

"This book is for anyone who wants to learn how to respond to difficult people with more clarity and wisdom. It will help you explore your reactions, break free from knee-jerk response patterns and find out how these people can become useful teachers in life--troublesome Buddhas. In this book Mark Westmoquette draws on personal experiences of profound tragedy. He stresses that the only way to grow is by facing our pain, acknowledging how we feel and committing to end the repeating pattern of suffering, By bringing awareness and kindness to these relationships, our initial stance of "I can't stand this person, they need to change: will naturally shift into something more inclusive. Zen is about finding your true nature and, once you've woken up to it, learning to live from that realization. There will always be people who get up your nose--and perhaps even your blood boil and steam come out of your ears. Mark teaches us how to listen to those feelings and begin relating to them in a different way."-- Back cover.

Includes bibliographical references (pages 193-196).

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